Moving On 101

Here are most of the lessons I have learned on moving on. I can't claim I am an expert on this, because I haven't exactly moved on, on the the truest sense of the word. But based on my experience, this is what applies and what truly happens:

1. DO NOT BELIEVE IN FAIRY TALES. Sure, life can sometimes have happy endings, like what happened to Tina and Bette in the L Word, but that's a TV series, perhaps it was what the viewers wanted. Sa totoong buhay, viewers dont make things happen, YOU make things happen. But sometimes it doesn't happen the way you want it to happen. I am not even sure if it could happen in real life, especially with the kind of situation that I have.


2. DWELL ON IT. There may be times you feel like waking up and not getting out of bed for the whole day, there may be times you feel like waking up and you feel you're ready to move on and there are times you wouldn't want to wake up at all. There may be episodes of you wanting to end your life because you feel so worthless and unloved. That's normal, just dwell on the pain till you feel dwelling on it becomes O.A., your friends might even think you're exaggerating. Just feel how much it hurts, you could curse, you could cry, or you could just lie there, immobile and unfeeling for the rest of day. Do not deny the fact that you are hurting. For whatever you do, just one thought of her would make you want to break down and sleep and never wake up. Listen to senti music. Think about the things that remind you of what used to be. Live on pain till you stop bleeding. Flood yourself with hurting thoughts, she kissing him, having a great time while you're sulking in the dark. Pry, ask around how happy she is now, torture yourself, feel the pain, for when it's all gone, you'll feel you started life all over again.

3. KEEP YOURSELF BUSY. Keep yourself too busy to be sad. Do that thing you've always wanted to do, but failed to do because all your time that was left you spent with her. Finish a whole book of sudoku, get a haircut, read books, surf to the max, go out with friends, write a blog, get a job you never really wanted but would keep you busy. Sure, whatever you do, you would feel empty but just let it be. Whether it be keeping yourself busy getting drunk, getting unlimited doses of nicotine, or just spending time with somebody you don't even care about. Just be busy you wont have time to be sad.

...there may be a lot of things I did just to get going, some stupid, some i didnt even think of doing but hell, yes, i did it. This may seem bitin, for I haven't moved on...yet. Perhaps it will be a continuous learning experience. Experimenting which one would apply, which one could really help. Yes, I am still hurting. Yes, I still love her. But no...I can't just be like this forever...it goes through stages - you beg, you accept, you deny, you get mad, get hurt, isolate yourself, but eventually, you'll move on.

exactly...

O kay bilis naman
Magsawa ng puso mo
Ganyan ka ba talaga
Bigla nalang naglalaho

Para bang walang nangyari
Di mo man lang sinabi

Sana’y hindi nalang pinilit pa
Wala ring patutungahan
Kahit sabihin ko pang
Mahal kita

Nalulungkot, nayayamot, nagmumukmok
Hindi ko pa yata kaya pang
Labanan ang damdamin ko

Nakakainis talaga
Nagmuhkha tuloy akong tanga
Pinaasa mo kasi
Puso ko ngayon tuloy lumuluha

Dahil iniwan mo kong mag-isa
Limang araw lang ay babay na

Sana’y hindi nalang pinilit pa
Wala ring patutungahan
Kahit sabihin ko pang
Mahal kita

Nalulungkot, nayayamot, nagmumukmok
Hindi ko pa yata kaya pang
Labanan ang damdamin ko

Movie Madness

I have been cinema-hopping for the last two weeks...though much of what I watched were Tagalog, and some I truly regret watching.

When Love Begins
starring: Aga Muhlach and Anne Curtis

*You wouldn't even guess it was produced from Star Cinema. I have watched most movies of Star Cinema and most of it is really entertaining and of good quality. This movie was really a disappointment. The plot and twist were too dense, and the dialogues thrown at each other too raw. Even the shots taken for the major stars - when Anne speaks, camera zooms in at her face, when Aga speaks, camera zooms in at his face...and it was just like that the whole time. You wouldn't feel the chemistry between the two. The moviegoers who were interviewed by ABS were right though, Anne was sexy and hot, and Aga was cute --- and that's basically it. No comment was given with regards to the movie as a whole. Why? Because there was nothing so fascinating about the movie. I even slept for around twenty minutes and woke up still feeling bored. The movie was too dragging. An ABS insider even told me it was really done in a rush so that iot would be finished by the time Ploning will be shown in cinemas. So that's what you get for doing something just so you could say you have done something.
Rating: Half-star out of five

Ploning
starring: Judy Ann Santos, Gina Pareno and Mylene Dizon

This movie is great. Great cinematography and lighting, plus the music background that will make you really feel that you have been to another era. The plot was ok, too. Not much of the love-story plot that Judy Ann will always do to make people watch. It was a great movie even without the presence of big stars or a hot loveteam. One tip though, dont start watching in the middle of the movie, you wouldn't get to put it al together you would still have to watch it again from the beginning. So if the movie starts at 7:20 and you are already at the mall by 6:30, take time to dine, shop, call home, text friends, buy some baon and just be there minutes before 7:20. Nice movie and proudly done by Pinoys.
Rating: three-and-a-half stars out of five

What Happens in Vegas
starring: Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher

Very entertaining. It may seem shallow but at least I got what I wanted, which was to be entertained. Not for kids, though, there are some scenes really gross, but super hilarious. Cameron and Ashton looks good together, too. I'll be recommending this for those looking for purely entertainment.
Rating: three-and-a-half stars out of five

The Hottie and the Nottie
starring: Paris Hilton and Joel Moore

I am guilty of not even remembering the name of the other girl that co-starred with Paris Hilton. I watched it on DVD, so you do something else when the credits are shown, or you just press the FF button. This movie is so dense and shallow and gross. Just like how my favorite inaanak, Ian, would say it, "Yuck, diweee!" There are some scenes which are utterly gross, and the look on Joel Moore's face makes it all the more kadiwee. It's just a typical Paris Hilton movie (yeah, like what else do you expect?), too dense and shallow. Of course, it isn't a quality movie compared to Ploning and not as entertaining as What Happens in Vegas, so don't watch it if you have other, better things to do.
Rating: one star out of five

You Oughta Know

as per chat's request for how many times now, I am posting the lyrics of this song by Alanis Morisette. She thinks this is the best song for me...(comments added, some lyrics revised and pun intended)

YOU OUGHTA KNOW

I want you to know, that I'm happy for you (truly, i wish you happiness, no sarcasm whatsoever...)
I wish nothing but the best for you both (...i wish the best?prang kasalan na ah)
An older version of me (younger, but way bigger)
Is she* perverted like me (*he, ehem...am i perverted?)
Would she* go down on you in a theatre (*he, have we tried this?no...going out with a man is a totally different story)
Does she* speak eloquently (*he, i know he does)
And would she* have your* baby (*you,*his, i know you will, but not so soon i hope)
I'm sure she'd* make a really excellent mother* (*he'd, father,..sana nga...)

Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no (four years, but i dont blame you)
And every time you speak her* name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, till you died (*his, 'til we grow older and have white hair, that was all in your letter)
But you're still alive

And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away (truly a mess, but i'm beginning to pick up the pieces)
It's not fair to deny me (not fair, but again, i cant blame you)
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know (you should know and feel all of this)

You seem very well, things look peaceful (i'm happy for you)
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know (they all know it and you don't even care)
Did you forget about me Mr.* Duplicity (how can you do that? i wish i could do that too)
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced (...awwww)
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her (...................)

Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it

happy 7th peter, birthday (hik!)

since i started goin' solo, weekend has been my dillemma. Why? Simply because i am still not used to not having someone around to spend weekends with, unlike before i just have to go out of the room, and see kids playing around, and i just 'blend' with them. it's a good thing peter will be celebrating his birthday, i have a reason to reunite with my 'family' again.


at first things felt a little awkward, some people hearing the news just that day, and i swear i could have felt what their stares meant. or am i just being a paranoid? whatever.


but after a while, things went back to normal. and i am happy again, it feels so good to be surrounded with good people who promise to be with you till you recover. rhein was there, too, and i truly appreciate it. no, we didn't talk about the break-up, may pakonti-konting sundot lang lalo kung mejo emo ang kanta mo sa videoke.

we videoke'd to the max, with ala SOP's back-to-back-to-back for the finale. Chat's song was Better Days (para sa 'kin Bitter Days daw un), mine was Tina Arena's Burn, Rhein did a rendition of Guy Sebastian's Angels Brought Me Here (with matching pagsampa sa upuan to reach the highest note daw...hehe), for Amiel, i am not sure if Stitches and Burns was already his entry for back to back, hehe, and for Pitch, 'Kahit Kailan.' Don't be intimidated, lahat 'yan, trip lang. Nobody among us sings like a professional.

It was a fun day (minus her). Thanks, guys, for keeping me company for weekend. =)

P.S.
Happy birthday, Peter. 'hope you liked the bike we gave you.
..and welcome back, Jojie...thanks for the chocolate, soap and Marlboro. =)

natural high

three things i have learned yesterday:

you can be single and happy...
...and you can be sober and happy as well...
...and that 'tubthumping' song by chumbawumba is really a good choice for group singing hahaha.

my friends spent five long hours videoke-ing...it was a night full of fun, noise and laughter, minus alcohol and nicotine...and the best part was that i had lotsa fun even if i was sober.

before we went to havana, we ate ice cream first at theicecreamstore coz we know we cant do that after singing, else, we'll all be voiceless after. and we also had dinner courtesy of mcdo delivery so that we will just be singing the night away when we reach havana.


i had lotsa fun...thanks to you porx!

italian fest

we had a feast the other night at A-Veneto, Visayas Ave. thanks to alvin for the sumptuous treat, although most of us had tummy aches when we went home. i even threw up. was it over-eating or was there really something wrong with the food?

anyway, naubos naman halos lahat so it's probably over-eating. impatso.

i went home right after, then tried to get some sleep after few puffs of nicotine.

i'm getting by, and i'm loving it.