So this is what’s been keeping me busy nowadays. I should have been part of the SMART Faculty Immersion Program but my training schedule did not allow me to do so. First part of the training is the CCT, then after that would be the PST, that is if you pass CCT first. My trainer is so cool and m co-trainees as well. So let me just introduce to you my new-found friends:
Joel (the trainer) – nobody from the class had enough guts to ask about his sexual preference but the way he dresses, and talks, can be considered as a give-away. He is so cool and funny. He had unlimited number of anecdotes to share and we all just end up laughing because of his gestures. Even Joel himself would end up laughing, too. That’s one good point of a teacher, storytelling with actions and all, no inhibitions and being able to laugh at himself. Joel has been consistently asking me to ‘exaggerate’, which is something I find challenging to do…but hopefully I get the hang of exaggerating so I wouldn’t be hearing the words “Sappho, exaggerate!” as if exaggerate is my last name. =)
My co-trainees:
AC – one of my favorites because he always makes me smile. He looks like a typical parlorista - dyed hair, skinny jeans, sleeveless shirt and a body bag. You might even ask for her scissors and comb. But no, AC is not a parlorista, mind you, he is pretty good in exaggerating. He even pronounces Cainta as Ca-een-tah, it was even misheard as Utah. And that was the first icebreaker ever that made us all laugh to the highest power. AC is friendly and very open. He is also very generous giving us yosi during breaks. When asked about his greatest passion, he readily said it was his ex for a year now. And that’s another icebreaker…harhar.
DAFF – my seatmate and lunch buddy. He also coaches me with pronunciation, and the in’s and out ‘s of the call center business. A self-confessed DOTA and sex-addict, this guy is cool and relaxed. With very good accent, too.
PAOLO – only 20 years old, the youngest in the class, a UP ComSci student, but is currently in AWOL to work and earn for his tuition fee. My bibong groupmate in almost all of the activities that were given to us. Although very young, he has lotsa things to say, not by experience though, mostly from the textbooks he has read. Paolo is my baby, I always tease him not to join the gimmicks because he is too young and he would always answer, “’di na ko baby,’ no!”
DADDY MON – the oldest from the class at 56, and still single. But very cool also, and always willing to share his stories. He had a mild stroke a few years back and is having difficulties using his right hand. But he never gave up, at his age and condition, he was still motivated to work and very eager to learn. That’s an inspiration for me because at my early age now, I feel I have lost the desire to live and work. =(
MARVIN/MELVIN – sorry I keep forgetting your name. He is also a call center virgin like me. This guy is a cono, the way I see it. And very quiet, but is game to all things Joel would instruct him to do. A fresh graduate from UP. We didn’t have the chance to bond because he belongs to a different group, and he doesn’t smoke, but I think he’s nice.
JOSEPH – one of the seasoned agents from our batch. He could also qualify as a team leader based on his call center experience. I could always imagine Dom in him, with his physique, sense of humor and I don’t know what else, I just think of him as Dom. Period. (See, I can’t still get them out of my system. Hehe.) I wish he would become my role-playing partner because I know I would learn a lot from him.
JUNSAL – Joseph’s partner in crime. They would always laugh at one corner when Joel becomes really funny and foolish. Very good accent, too. When asked about his passion, his answer was his kids (hmm…ideal father), but what about your wife? hehehe.
DORX – her name is spelled with an X, not a –KS, that’s what she would always stress. Also a fresh graduate and a call center virgin. She is basically quiet, I only get to hear her get excited when they (with Rica) talk about b-o-y-s. (Peace!) She seems nice and kikay.
RICA – my role-playing partner. Very fluent and is really good with the English language. She used to teach at UP, but settled for a call center job because this is where the money is. She is very warm and friendly. Thank God she is my partner in role-playing because I do learn a lot from her.
PAOLO – the second Paolo in the class. He would always talk about cars, or joke around and make fun of Volts. He doesn’t smoke but would also go downstairs during breaks just to mingle and exchange laughs and stories. This guy looks mayabang, and presko, you know the typical guy who thinks he knows it all. But let me just stress the presence of the word LOOKS on the previous sentence. I don’t know if he really is. What I know is that he is pasaway because during breaks he would browse you tube or imeem which is a no-no during the training.
BOLAI – another UP student. Very quiet, but I think she’s cool. All UP students are cool, right? ALMOST all. Harhar. Also a yosi-buddy but her brand is Winston Lights. This woman is deep and mysterious….hmmm…I think I should get to know her more. Too bad I wasn’t able to join their first-ever inuman session because I had to go to Banawe. There will be a 2nd time, I hope and I really am joining this time.
KATKAT – a semi-vegetarian, and also very quiet. I wonder if they have let go of all their inhibitions during their inuman…and did they talk anout me?hahaha….Also a seasoned agent and is always talking to someone over the phone during breaks (I miss those times).
YANI – also one of my favorites. Gay and happy. My uwian buddy. I know it would be easier for him to just ride a bus via CUBAO ILALIM but he always chooses to ride CUBAO IBABAW so that I could have someone with me on my way home. Bait naman ni Yani. Very soft-spoken but is also very open to his adventures and misadventures.
CHENG – she was a former student of the school where I used to teach, and that is also why I don’t mind not bonding with her at all. She might know some of my secrets and I don’t want that to happen.
MONDS – I wonder if he is gay, but whatever his sexual preference is, I think he’s nice. Just a little aloof maybe, but he seems nice. Very quiet, prefers to eat alone and just read books during breaks.
VOLTS – a really weird guy with a very weird voice. That’s why some of us love making fun of him. He hates his mother-in-law very much he always talk about her.
DAN – looks like a security guard using Astringent No. 3. But well, looks can be deceiving. Also a seasoned agent and is really very eager to learn. He even has a better accent than me. =( Joel would always ask him if he is drunk because when he recites, he mumbles words, but then after a few seconds and he gets enough confidence, he does speak well.
LIAN – also my lunch buddy. He is from Iloilo and I really like his accent. He is a very nice guy, always willing to get coffee for me.haha. He looks like Joel Moore, the stupid guy from the movie The Hottie and The Nottie. But no, Lian is not stupid. He’s smart and I like his attitude.
And of course, Reena, who was never my co-trainee but is always there to help me out. Thanks for the mug and all the stories we’ve shared. Thanks for always being on the rescue especially when I broke down at the restroom when I was asked about my greatest passion for the last two years. And sorry, for whichever side of the coin I choose, I still end up hurting you.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Sana...
...nagagawang lunurin ng luha ang lahat ng sakit.
...kayang burahin ng galit ang pagmamahal.
...kayang palitan ng bagong pag-ibig ang sugat, luha, sakit at galit.
xOxO
...kayang burahin ng galit ang pagmamahal.
...kayang palitan ng bagong pag-ibig ang sugat, luha, sakit at galit.
xOxO
Monday, May 19, 2008
Moving On 101
Here are most of the lessons I have learned on moving on. I can't claim I am an expert on this, because I haven't exactly moved on, on the the truest sense of the word. But based on my experience, this is what applies and what truly happens:
1. DO NOT BELIEVE IN FAIRY TALES. Sure, life can sometimes have happy endings, like what happened to Tina and Bette in the L Word, but that's a TV series, perhaps it was what the viewers wanted. Sa totoong buhay, viewers dont make things happen, YOU make things happen. But sometimes it doesn't happen the way you want it to happen. I am not even sure if it could happen in real life, especially with the kind of situation that I have.
2. DWELL ON IT. There may be times you feel like waking up and not getting out of bed for the whole day, there may be times you feel like waking up and you feel you're ready to move on and there are times you wouldn't want to wake up at all. There may be episodes of you wanting to end your life because you feel so worthless and unloved. That's normal, just dwell on the pain till you feel dwelling on it becomes O.A., your friends might even think you're exaggerating. Just feel how much it hurts, you could curse, you could cry, or you could just lie there, immobile and unfeeling for the rest of day. Do not deny the fact that you are hurting. For whatever you do, just one thought of her would make you want to break down and sleep and never wake up. Listen to senti music. Think about the things that remind you of what used to be. Live on pain till you stop bleeding. Flood yourself with hurting thoughts, she kissing him, having a great time while you're sulking in the dark. Pry, ask around how happy she is now, torture yourself, feel the pain, for when it's all gone, you'll feel you started life all over again.
3. KEEP YOURSELF BUSY. Keep yourself too busy to be sad. Do that thing you've always wanted to do, but failed to do because all your time that was left you spent with her. Finish a whole book of sudoku, get a haircut, read books, surf to the max, go out with friends, write a blog, get a job you never really wanted but would keep you busy. Sure, whatever you do, you would feel empty but just let it be. Whether it be keeping yourself busy getting drunk, getting unlimited doses of nicotine, or just spending time with somebody you don't even care about. Just be busy you wont have time to be sad.
...there may be a lot of things I did just to get going, some stupid, some i didnt even think of doing but hell, yes, i did it. This may seem bitin, for I haven't moved on...yet. Perhaps it will be a continuous learning experience. Experimenting which one would apply, which one could really help. Yes, I am still hurting. Yes, I still love her. But no...I can't just be like this forever...it goes through stages - you beg, you accept, you deny, you get mad, get hurt, isolate yourself, but eventually, you'll move on.
1. DO NOT BELIEVE IN FAIRY TALES. Sure, life can sometimes have happy endings, like what happened to Tina and Bette in the L Word, but that's a TV series, perhaps it was what the viewers wanted. Sa totoong buhay, viewers dont make things happen, YOU make things happen. But sometimes it doesn't happen the way you want it to happen. I am not even sure if it could happen in real life, especially with the kind of situation that I have.
2. DWELL ON IT. There may be times you feel like waking up and not getting out of bed for the whole day, there may be times you feel like waking up and you feel you're ready to move on and there are times you wouldn't want to wake up at all. There may be episodes of you wanting to end your life because you feel so worthless and unloved. That's normal, just dwell on the pain till you feel dwelling on it becomes O.A., your friends might even think you're exaggerating. Just feel how much it hurts, you could curse, you could cry, or you could just lie there, immobile and unfeeling for the rest of day. Do not deny the fact that you are hurting. For whatever you do, just one thought of her would make you want to break down and sleep and never wake up. Listen to senti music. Think about the things that remind you of what used to be. Live on pain till you stop bleeding. Flood yourself with hurting thoughts, she kissing him, having a great time while you're sulking in the dark. Pry, ask around how happy she is now, torture yourself, feel the pain, for when it's all gone, you'll feel you started life all over again.
3. KEEP YOURSELF BUSY. Keep yourself too busy to be sad. Do that thing you've always wanted to do, but failed to do because all your time that was left you spent with her. Finish a whole book of sudoku, get a haircut, read books, surf to the max, go out with friends, write a blog, get a job you never really wanted but would keep you busy. Sure, whatever you do, you would feel empty but just let it be. Whether it be keeping yourself busy getting drunk, getting unlimited doses of nicotine, or just spending time with somebody you don't even care about. Just be busy you wont have time to be sad.
...there may be a lot of things I did just to get going, some stupid, some i didnt even think of doing but hell, yes, i did it. This may seem bitin, for I haven't moved on...yet. Perhaps it will be a continuous learning experience. Experimenting which one would apply, which one could really help. Yes, I am still hurting. Yes, I still love her. But no...I can't just be like this forever...it goes through stages - you beg, you accept, you deny, you get mad, get hurt, isolate yourself, but eventually, you'll move on.
exactly...
O kay bilis naman
Magsawa ng puso mo
Ganyan ka ba talaga
Bigla nalang naglalaho
Para bang walang nangyari
Di mo man lang sinabi
Sana’y hindi nalang pinilit pa
Wala ring patutungahan
Kahit sabihin ko pang
Mahal kita
Nalulungkot, nayayamot, nagmumukmok
Hindi ko pa yata kaya pang
Labanan ang damdamin ko
Nakakainis talaga
Nagmuhkha tuloy akong tanga
Pinaasa mo kasi
Puso ko ngayon tuloy lumuluha
Dahil iniwan mo kong mag-isa
Limang araw lang ay babay na
Sana’y hindi nalang pinilit pa
Wala ring patutungahan
Kahit sabihin ko pang
Mahal kita
Nalulungkot, nayayamot, nagmumukmok
Hindi ko pa yata kaya pang
Labanan ang damdamin ko
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Movie Madness
I have been cinema-hopping for the last two weeks...though much of what I watched were Tagalog, and some I truly regret watching.
When Love Begins
starring: Aga Muhlach and Anne Curtis
*You wouldn't even guess it was produced from Star Cinema. I have watched most movies of Star Cinema and most of it is really entertaining and of good quality. This movie was really a disappointment. The plot and twist were too dense, and the dialogues thrown at each other too raw. Even the shots taken for the major stars - when Anne speaks, camera zooms in at her face, when Aga speaks, camera zooms in at his face...and it was just like that the whole time. You wouldn't feel the chemistry between the two. The moviegoers who were interviewed by ABS were right though, Anne was sexy and hot, and Aga was cute --- and that's basically it. No comment was given with regards to the movie as a whole. Why? Because there was nothing so fascinating about the movie. I even slept for around twenty minutes and woke up still feeling bored. The movie was too dragging. An ABS insider even told me it was really done in a rush so that iot would be finished by the time Ploning will be shown in cinemas. So that's what you get for doing something just so you could say you have done something.
Rating: Half-star out of five
Ploning
starring: Judy Ann Santos, Gina Pareno and Mylene Dizon
This movie is great. Great cinematography and lighting, plus the music background that will make you really feel that you have been to another era. The plot was ok, too. Not much of the love-story plot that Judy Ann will always do to make people watch. It was a great movie even without the presence of big stars or a hot loveteam. One tip though, dont start watching in the middle of the movie, you wouldn't get to put it al together you would still have to watch it again from the beginning. So if the movie starts at 7:20 and you are already at the mall by 6:30, take time to dine, shop, call home, text friends, buy some baon and just be there minutes before 7:20. Nice movie and proudly done by Pinoys.
Rating: three-and-a-half stars out of five
What Happens in Vegas
starring: Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher
Very entertaining. It may seem shallow but at least I got what I wanted, which was to be entertained. Not for kids, though, there are some scenes really gross, but super hilarious. Cameron and Ashton looks good together, too. I'll be recommending this for those looking for purely entertainment.
Rating: three-and-a-half stars out of five
The Hottie and the Nottie
starring: Paris Hilton and Joel Moore
I am guilty of not even remembering the name of the other girl that co-starred with Paris Hilton. I watched it on DVD, so you do something else when the credits are shown, or you just press the FF button. This movie is so dense and shallow and gross. Just like how my favorite inaanak, Ian, would say it, "Yuck, diweee!" There are some scenes which are utterly gross, and the look on Joel Moore's face makes it all the more kadiwee. It's just a typical Paris Hilton movie (yeah, like what else do you expect?), too dense and shallow. Of course, it isn't a quality movie compared to Ploning and not as entertaining as What Happens in Vegas, so don't watch it if you have other, better things to do.
Rating: one star out of five
When Love Begins
starring: Aga Muhlach and Anne Curtis
*You wouldn't even guess it was produced from Star Cinema. I have watched most movies of Star Cinema and most of it is really entertaining and of good quality. This movie was really a disappointment. The plot and twist were too dense, and the dialogues thrown at each other too raw. Even the shots taken for the major stars - when Anne speaks, camera zooms in at her face, when Aga speaks, camera zooms in at his face...and it was just like that the whole time. You wouldn't feel the chemistry between the two. The moviegoers who were interviewed by ABS were right though, Anne was sexy and hot, and Aga was cute --- and that's basically it. No comment was given with regards to the movie as a whole. Why? Because there was nothing so fascinating about the movie. I even slept for around twenty minutes and woke up still feeling bored. The movie was too dragging. An ABS insider even told me it was really done in a rush so that iot would be finished by the time Ploning will be shown in cinemas. So that's what you get for doing something just so you could say you have done something.
Rating: Half-star out of five
Ploning
starring: Judy Ann Santos, Gina Pareno and Mylene Dizon
This movie is great. Great cinematography and lighting, plus the music background that will make you really feel that you have been to another era. The plot was ok, too. Not much of the love-story plot that Judy Ann will always do to make people watch. It was a great movie even without the presence of big stars or a hot loveteam. One tip though, dont start watching in the middle of the movie, you wouldn't get to put it al together you would still have to watch it again from the beginning. So if the movie starts at 7:20 and you are already at the mall by 6:30, take time to dine, shop, call home, text friends, buy some baon and just be there minutes before 7:20. Nice movie and proudly done by Pinoys.
Rating: three-and-a-half stars out of five
What Happens in Vegas
starring: Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher
Very entertaining. It may seem shallow but at least I got what I wanted, which was to be entertained. Not for kids, though, there are some scenes really gross, but super hilarious. Cameron and Ashton looks good together, too. I'll be recommending this for those looking for purely entertainment.
Rating: three-and-a-half stars out of five
The Hottie and the Nottie
starring: Paris Hilton and Joel Moore
I am guilty of not even remembering the name of the other girl that co-starred with Paris Hilton. I watched it on DVD, so you do something else when the credits are shown, or you just press the FF button. This movie is so dense and shallow and gross. Just like how my favorite inaanak, Ian, would say it, "Yuck, diweee!" There are some scenes which are utterly gross, and the look on Joel Moore's face makes it all the more kadiwee. It's just a typical Paris Hilton movie (yeah, like what else do you expect?), too dense and shallow. Of course, it isn't a quality movie compared to Ploning and not as entertaining as What Happens in Vegas, so don't watch it if you have other, better things to do.
Rating: one star out of five
Saturday, May 17, 2008
You Oughta Know
as per chat's request for how many times now, I am posting the lyrics of this song by Alanis Morisette. She thinks this is the best song for me...(comments added, some lyrics revised and pun intended)
YOU OUGHTA KNOW
I want you to know, that I'm happy for you (truly, i wish you happiness, no sarcasm whatsoever...)
I wish nothing but the best for you both (...i wish the best?prang kasalan na ah)
An older version of me (younger, but way bigger)
Is she* perverted like me (*he, ehem...am i perverted?)
Would she* go down on you in a theatre (*he, have we tried this?no...going out with a man is a totally different story)
Does she* speak eloquently (*he, i know he does)
And would she* have your* baby (*you,*his, i know you will, but not so soon i hope)
I'm sure she'd* make a really excellent mother* (*he'd, father,..sana nga...)
Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no (four years, but i dont blame you)
And every time you speak her* name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, till you died (*his, 'til we grow older and have white hair, that was all in your letter)
But you're still alive
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away (truly a mess, but i'm beginning to pick up the pieces)
It's not fair to deny me (not fair, but again, i cant blame you)
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know (you should know and feel all of this)
You seem very well, things look peaceful (i'm happy for you)
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know (they all know it and you don't even care)
Did you forget about me Mr.* Duplicity (how can you do that? i wish i could do that too)
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced (...awwww)
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her (...................)
Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it
YOU OUGHTA KNOW
I want you to know, that I'm happy for you (truly, i wish you happiness, no sarcasm whatsoever...)
I wish nothing but the best for you both (...i wish the best?prang kasalan na ah)
An older version of me (younger, but way bigger)
Is she* perverted like me (*he, ehem...am i perverted?)
Would she* go down on you in a theatre (*he, have we tried this?no...going out with a man is a totally different story)
Does she* speak eloquently (*he, i know he does)
And would she* have your* baby (*you,*his, i know you will, but not so soon i hope)
I'm sure she'd* make a really excellent mother* (*he'd, father,..sana nga...)
Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no (four years, but i dont blame you)
And every time you speak her* name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, till you died (*his, 'til we grow older and have white hair, that was all in your letter)
But you're still alive
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away (truly a mess, but i'm beginning to pick up the pieces)
It's not fair to deny me (not fair, but again, i cant blame you)
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know (you should know and feel all of this)
You seem very well, things look peaceful (i'm happy for you)
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know (they all know it and you don't even care)
Did you forget about me Mr.* Duplicity (how can you do that? i wish i could do that too)
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced (...awwww)
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her (...................)
Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it
Monday, May 12, 2008
happy 7th peter, birthday (hik!)
since i started goin' solo, weekend has been my dillemma. Why? Simply because i am still not used to not having someone around to spend weekends with, unlike before i just have to go out of the room, and see kids playing around, and i just 'blend' with them. it's a good thing peter will be celebrating his birthday, i have a reason to reunite with my 'family' again.
at first things felt a little awkward, some people hearing the news just that day, and i swear i could have felt what their stares meant. or am i just being a paranoid? whatever.
but after a while, things went back to normal. and i am happy again, it feels so good to be surrounded with good people who promise to be with you till you recover. rhein was there, too, and i truly appreciate it. no, we didn't talk about the break-up, may pakonti-konting sundot lang lalo kung mejo emo ang kanta mo sa videoke.
we videoke'd to the max, with ala SOP's back-to-back-to-back for the finale. Chat's song was Better Days (para sa 'kin Bitter Days daw un), mine was Tina Arena's Burn, Rhein did a rendition of Guy Sebastian's Angels Brought Me Here (with matching pagsampa sa upuan to reach the highest note daw...hehe), for Amiel, i am not sure if Stitches and Burns was already his entry for back to back, hehe, and for Pitch, 'Kahit Kailan.' Don't be intimidated, lahat 'yan, trip lang. Nobody among us sings like a professional.
It was a fun day (minus her). Thanks, guys, for keeping me company for weekend. =)
P.S.
Happy birthday, Peter. 'hope you liked the bike we gave you.
..and welcome back, Jojie...thanks for the chocolate, soap and Marlboro. =)
at first things felt a little awkward, some people hearing the news just that day, and i swear i could have felt what their stares meant. or am i just being a paranoid? whatever.
but after a while, things went back to normal. and i am happy again, it feels so good to be surrounded with good people who promise to be with you till you recover. rhein was there, too, and i truly appreciate it. no, we didn't talk about the break-up, may pakonti-konting sundot lang lalo kung mejo emo ang kanta mo sa videoke.
we videoke'd to the max, with ala SOP's back-to-back-to-back for the finale. Chat's song was Better Days (para sa 'kin Bitter Days daw un), mine was Tina Arena's Burn, Rhein did a rendition of Guy Sebastian's Angels Brought Me Here (with matching pagsampa sa upuan to reach the highest note daw...hehe), for Amiel, i am not sure if Stitches and Burns was already his entry for back to back, hehe, and for Pitch, 'Kahit Kailan.' Don't be intimidated, lahat 'yan, trip lang. Nobody among us sings like a professional.
It was a fun day (minus her). Thanks, guys, for keeping me company for weekend. =)
P.S.
Happy birthday, Peter. 'hope you liked the bike we gave you.
..and welcome back, Jojie...thanks for the chocolate, soap and Marlboro. =)
Friday, May 9, 2008
natural high
three things i have learned yesterday:
you can be single and happy...
...and you can be sober and happy as well...
...and that 'tubthumping' song by chumbawumba is really a good choice for group singing hahaha.
my friends spent five long hours videoke-ing...it was a night full of fun, noise and laughter, minus alcohol and nicotine...and the best part was that i had lotsa fun even if i was sober.
before we went to havana, we ate ice cream first at theicecreamstore coz we know we cant do that after singing, else, we'll all be voiceless after. and we also had dinner courtesy of mcdo delivery so that we will just be singing the night away when we reach havana.
i had lotsa fun...thanks to you porx!
you can be single and happy...
...and you can be sober and happy as well...
...and that 'tubthumping' song by chumbawumba is really a good choice for group singing hahaha.
my friends spent five long hours videoke-ing...it was a night full of fun, noise and laughter, minus alcohol and nicotine...and the best part was that i had lotsa fun even if i was sober.
before we went to havana, we ate ice cream first at theicecreamstore coz we know we cant do that after singing, else, we'll all be voiceless after. and we also had dinner courtesy of mcdo delivery so that we will just be singing the night away when we reach havana.
i had lotsa fun...thanks to you porx!
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
italian fest
we had a feast the other night at A-Veneto, Visayas Ave. thanks to alvin for the sumptuous treat, although most of us had tummy aches when we went home. i even threw up. was it over-eating or was there really something wrong with the food?
anyway, naubos naman halos lahat so it's probably over-eating. impatso.
i went home right after, then tried to get some sleep after few puffs of nicotine.
i'm getting by, and i'm loving it.
p.o.s.i.t.i.v.i.t.y.
i am 60% recuperating, at least. not bad starting from 0% or even negative. thanks to all my friends, for keeping me company, for listening to all my woes, whether personal, through text, or through this blogsite.
among all of it, these are the lines i found most helpful, read on:
- "feel mo lng lhat ng pain, that will soon end."
- Clara. i am sure she understands how i feel.
- "just cry kung sobrang hurt ka. try mo din gmik pra makapa-enjoy."
- Clara also. gimmicked to max.helped me get some sleep, but i think more of her when I am drunk.
- "isipin mo n lng lahat ng pangit sa kanya."
- Debi and Grace. that's why i have a post entitled 10 things i hate about you.
- "God knows wats best for us, so y shud we complain.
We always want the sunshine but He knows there must be rain.
We love the sound of laughter and the merriment of cheer,
But our hearts will lose their tenderness if we nvr shed a tear
God tests us often w/ suffering and sorrow
He tests us not 2 punish us but 2 help us meet tomorrow.
So whenever we're in trouble and everytn goes wrong
It is God working on us to make our spirits strong."
- Leni.
- "tama na, pitch, ayaw na ni ate, hayaan mo na siya."
- Pitch. cuts through the bone.
- "pinaglaban kita dati pro hanggang gnto lng pla ako."
- "just ds wk. kmi na d nyt aftr we talked. mahal ko na sya."
among all of it, these are the lines i found most helpful, read on:
- "feel mo lng lhat ng pain, that will soon end."
- Clara. i am sure she understands how i feel.
- "just cry kung sobrang hurt ka. try mo din gmik pra makapa-enjoy."
- Clara also. gimmicked to max.helped me get some sleep, but i think more of her when I am drunk.
- "isipin mo n lng lahat ng pangit sa kanya."
- Debi and Grace. that's why i have a post entitled 10 things i hate about you.
- "God knows wats best for us, so y shud we complain.
We always want the sunshine but He knows there must be rain.
We love the sound of laughter and the merriment of cheer,
But our hearts will lose their tenderness if we nvr shed a tear
God tests us often w/ suffering and sorrow
He tests us not 2 punish us but 2 help us meet tomorrow.
So whenever we're in trouble and everytn goes wrong
It is God working on us to make our spirits strong."
- Leni.
- "tama na, pitch, ayaw na ni ate, hayaan mo na siya."
- Pitch. cuts through the bone.
- "pinaglaban kita dati pro hanggang gnto lng pla ako."
- "just ds wk. kmi na d nyt aftr we talked. mahal ko na sya."
Monday, May 5, 2008
somebody stop me
it's been almost three weeks, i still feel some bouts of sadness, like crying on the cab from school going home. i even told my textmate last night how i wish there was this certain amount or quantity of tears that i have to shed, like a bucketful or even a barrelful, and after that, just like how one changes clothes, the pain and the dirt just goes away.
an old friend even texted me "just cry if you feel like doing so. i-feel mo lng lhat ng hurt." like duh!i've been doing that for three weeks now and the pit seems to be bottomless.
anyway, i hope somebody stops me from all this ranting because i am close to reaching the borders of insanity. sometimes i feel good in the presence of friends, but i hate it when it's time to go home and start the torture again.
anyway, i am still thankful i still have my officemates to entertain me. isaw trip kmi kahapon sa UP. (barbecue fest in UP yesterday). though i didnt eat much, it was so freaking hot in the parking lot (wow!rhyming!).
i hope somebody stops me or i have to stop it myself?how?secret....i even thought of taking off my vest during the bananaboat ride in subic so that's when it's time for the jetski driver to tip the boat over, i'll be underwater without any struggle for i don't know how to swim. but i figured, these guys, (the ones i am with in subic), are just too good to me for me to cause them a lot of worries. maybe some other time...
an old friend even texted me "just cry if you feel like doing so. i-feel mo lng lhat ng hurt." like duh!i've been doing that for three weeks now and the pit seems to be bottomless.
anyway, i hope somebody stops me from all this ranting because i am close to reaching the borders of insanity. sometimes i feel good in the presence of friends, but i hate it when it's time to go home and start the torture again.
anyway, i am still thankful i still have my officemates to entertain me. isaw trip kmi kahapon sa UP. (barbecue fest in UP yesterday). though i didnt eat much, it was so freaking hot in the parking lot (wow!rhyming!).
i hope somebody stops me or i have to stop it myself?how?secret....i even thought of taking off my vest during the bananaboat ride in subic so that's when it's time for the jetski driver to tip the boat over, i'll be underwater without any struggle for i don't know how to swim. but i figured, these guys, (the ones i am with in subic), are just too good to me for me to cause them a lot of worries. maybe some other time...
Saturday, May 3, 2008
10 things i hate about you
1. I hate how many times you pick your nose, each time without a pause.
2. I hate how fast you take a bath, way faster than basic math.
3. I hate it when you fart so loud, of course, I can’t be proud.
4. I hate it when you ask for a massage
5. I hate how you scratch your head, your face, your neck, when you are sooooo sleepy.
6. …and how you scratch that thing down there, it ruins your underwear.
7. I hate how lazy you can be, all you wanna do is watch TV.
8. …which reminds me how I hate to see you watch TV, with your head tilted, you look so funny.
9. I hate the way you answer back, to your mom and your dad.
10. ..and I hate how much I still treasure you, with all the things you say and do.
bad habit no more
This can't go on now
I gotta move on now
It's not the fact that I don't love you no more
But I gotta break this bad habit
Can't take this bad habit no more
Thursday, May 1, 2008
teach her how to fish and she'll forget you ever existed
Yesterday was a nightmare...something you wouldn't even think of wishing it happens to you because it sure hurts BIG TIME. Even worse than a lesbian telenovela believe me.
Much has been said and much has been done on my part, and everything happened as it should happen. I don't regret being rude and bitter, that's really how i felt, and there's no way I'm gonna hide and deny it.
It felt like my chest was ripped open by an old, dirty and rusty knife. Then my heart was grabbed and taken out from my chest but still making sure the veins still connect to the rest of my body system. My heart itself was sliced by that cold, insensitive, selfish, devil-came-to-life woman, pricking and prying which part of my heart holds her, nurtures her. That part she eagerly removed and threw away to somewhere really far, somewhere i cannot reach or even see. She tried to bring every little piece together, poured alcohol to erase all possible marks, tried to sew it together using a big needle and a black string. And then she realized I was still alive, trying to grasp some air, as the tears endlessly rolled down my cheeks. On panic, the guilt slowly taking over her, she ran as fast as she can, leaving all traces and evidences, and left me, bruised and all.
I tried to stand, carrying my heart close to my chest. I realized I didnt know that woman at all. And I had this strange feeling that something was amiss, like there was a big hole in my heart.
Slowly, I am trying to put it all together, thinking hard about that woman and what she has probably done to me. A part of my brain still holds her, nurtures her, but it does not remember how it was, how it felt.
Only two things remain...the hole and the pain.
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