Yesterday was a nightmare...something you wouldn't even think of wishing it happens to you because it sure hurts BIG TIME. Even worse than a lesbian telenovela believe me.
Much has been said and much has been done on my part, and everything happened as it should happen. I don't regret being rude and bitter, that's really how i felt, and there's no way I'm gonna hide and deny it.
It felt like my chest was ripped open by an old, dirty and rusty knife. Then my heart was grabbed and taken out from my chest but still making sure the veins still connect to the rest of my body system. My heart itself was sliced by that cold, insensitive, selfish, devil-came-to-life woman, pricking and prying which part of my heart holds her, nurtures her. That part she eagerly removed and threw away to somewhere really far, somewhere i cannot reach or even see. She tried to bring every little piece together, poured alcohol to erase all possible marks, tried to sew it together using a big needle and a black string. And then she realized I was still alive, trying to grasp some air, as the tears endlessly rolled down my cheeks. On panic, the guilt slowly taking over her, she ran as fast as she can, leaving all traces and evidences, and left me, bruised and all.
I tried to stand, carrying my heart close to my chest. I realized I didnt know that woman at all. And I had this strange feeling that something was amiss, like there was a big hole in my heart.
Slowly, I am trying to put it all together, thinking hard about that woman and what she has probably done to me. A part of my brain still holds her, nurtures her, but it does not remember how it was, how it felt.
Only two things remain...the hole and the pain.
5 comments:
So sad? That’s really funny about falling in love, “it” will let you taste a bit happiness then you’ll never know that the next thing is that fucking heartache! that we have to suffer...like forever? I rest my case…
waaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!! (/me rubbin' my eyes.........)
NAKU!! AYAW KO MAG COMMENT! MASYADONG ATA MAHIRAP NAPAGDAANAN MO! WELL.. THATS LIFE! PERO LIKE WHAT I SAID TO U A WHILE AGO.(MAY 8, 2008 AROUND 5PM) "WE HIR NMAN" HEHEHE... NGAYU AY MAY 9, 2008 5:51AM.
nkk iyak... i was there always. everytym u hav arguments. i remember, i am the 1st one to know (in our family) about you guys. And its really sad. if i can only fix it.. but....
im always here for you. mdmi p taung plans. ung 3D company ntin..
to amiel, i'm so touched, kht n lgi k nka-capslock...hehehe.
and to chat, that's the sad truth, neither of us can try and fix it, she wants simpler, normal things, and i cant blame her...
to you both...i'll consistently be praying for your relationship, dami nyo na pinagdaanan wag nyo basta-basta itatapon...think it over a million times before u decide u'll never know what u might lose...thanks for being there.
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