Moving On 101

Here are most of the lessons I have learned on moving on. I can't claim I am an expert on this, because I haven't exactly moved on, on the the truest sense of the word. But based on my experience, this is what applies and what truly happens:

1. DO NOT BELIEVE IN FAIRY TALES. Sure, life can sometimes have happy endings, like what happened to Tina and Bette in the L Word, but that's a TV series, perhaps it was what the viewers wanted. Sa totoong buhay, viewers dont make things happen, YOU make things happen. But sometimes it doesn't happen the way you want it to happen. I am not even sure if it could happen in real life, especially with the kind of situation that I have.


2. DWELL ON IT. There may be times you feel like waking up and not getting out of bed for the whole day, there may be times you feel like waking up and you feel you're ready to move on and there are times you wouldn't want to wake up at all. There may be episodes of you wanting to end your life because you feel so worthless and unloved. That's normal, just dwell on the pain till you feel dwelling on it becomes O.A., your friends might even think you're exaggerating. Just feel how much it hurts, you could curse, you could cry, or you could just lie there, immobile and unfeeling for the rest of day. Do not deny the fact that you are hurting. For whatever you do, just one thought of her would make you want to break down and sleep and never wake up. Listen to senti music. Think about the things that remind you of what used to be. Live on pain till you stop bleeding. Flood yourself with hurting thoughts, she kissing him, having a great time while you're sulking in the dark. Pry, ask around how happy she is now, torture yourself, feel the pain, for when it's all gone, you'll feel you started life all over again.

3. KEEP YOURSELF BUSY. Keep yourself too busy to be sad. Do that thing you've always wanted to do, but failed to do because all your time that was left you spent with her. Finish a whole book of sudoku, get a haircut, read books, surf to the max, go out with friends, write a blog, get a job you never really wanted but would keep you busy. Sure, whatever you do, you would feel empty but just let it be. Whether it be keeping yourself busy getting drunk, getting unlimited doses of nicotine, or just spending time with somebody you don't even care about. Just be busy you wont have time to be sad.

...there may be a lot of things I did just to get going, some stupid, some i didnt even think of doing but hell, yes, i did it. This may seem bitin, for I haven't moved on...yet. Perhaps it will be a continuous learning experience. Experimenting which one would apply, which one could really help. Yes, I am still hurting. Yes, I still love her. But no...I can't just be like this forever...it goes through stages - you beg, you accept, you deny, you get mad, get hurt, isolate yourself, but eventually, you'll move on.